Today…
“I come hither so that by this hart that thou huntest I may hunt thee.” -Our Lord to St. Eustace
September 20th, 2019: Ember Friday in September as well as the feast of St. Eustace and Companions! A blessed Ember day to you, and may St. Eustace and his holy family intercede for us and our families! I absolutely love St. Eustace; he is one of my favorite Holy Helpers, and Saints in general. His story is edifying in the extreme, and you can read it in more depth here. But my favorite thing about him is how, even when he was a pagan soldier, before the miraculous hunting trip when he encountered Christ, he was already faithful to the practice of the works of mercy. What love Christ must have had for this noble soul He ‘hunted out’, who was honoring Him ignorantly, as Our Lord put it. May we who have been privileged to know Christ from the beginning of our lives be filled with the zeal of St. Eustace in exercising the works of mercy!
“Let the people show forth the wisdom of the Saints, and the Church declare their praise: and their name liveth unto generation and generation. Rejoice in the Lord, O ye just: praise becometh the upright.”
(Introit from the Mass for St. Eustace & Companions)
Outside my window…
Today also happens to be the first day we’ve had a reprieve from somewhat exhausting summer heat around here…it was 60 degrees and breezy around nine this morning, which drew my mom and younger siblings and I all out to enjoy the glorious weather. This is the first time in waking memory I can remember it feeling so much like fall here before it’s even fall. But hey, I think we’ve had a hot enough summer that it’s high time! Deo Gratias for the beauty of fall coming!
This summer I’ve discovered the energy I get from spending more time outside my window than on this side of it…I don’t know if it’s better oxygen, Vitamin D, or what, but spending a little time even just sitting outside each day has really helped both my energy level and occasional low spirits. Maybe it’s just contact with God’s creation, which whispers constantly to us of His goodness.
Home around me…
Home around me has seen a lot of changes over the summer. Our nest has sent forth the first of its chicks off to make her own nest (which she is doing a lovely job of, by the way. I’m so proud of her!) That having been said, I’ve become the oldest sibling at home. This has been a transition I’ve been approaching consciously for a while. I have to say it’s been very blessed; I’ve enjoyed the experience of the confidence that comes in doing what you have to do when it’s needed, and finding that you can do it, and even do it well. Laugh at my youth if you like, but I’ve been feeling a lot more grown up. Driving has become a lot more of my life, chauffeuring younger siblings around, running errands, even getting myself to Adoration once in a while and a little part-time job I’ve just started at a nearby convent of wonderful Sisters. Although I know it’s my guardian angel and patron Saints that keep me safe, and from time to time I’m the inexperienced driver that I hope other drivers will forgive, I do feel I’m getting the hang of it and it’s not nearly as scary as it used to be. I enjoy driving by myself, especially in the morning, with my Jon Foreman music on shuffle. It can get to be pretty epic feeling…but even dinner dishes are epic with Jon 🙂
Another fun part of the transition into that oldest role is the sense of jurisdiction that naturally came over me in regards to housekeeping. Mary did a lot around here, and thus left a large gap, and so everyone’s had to step up a little more…but I’ve really come to enjoy buzzing around the house and playing housewife. As my grandmother battles through the awful rigors of chemotherapy, and my mom puts on yet another cap of caretaker in addition to all the others she wears, it comforts me to be able to do the little things I do around here for her sake. I know it’s her love language to come home to a freshly-vacuumed carpet, organized drawer, or cleared-off counter. And she certainly deserves a little TLC in her love language right now!
Besides all that, our home school is in full swing for our two studious students left. I can’t believe they’re both in high school (I feel old). The girl’s room, which underwent some major renovating after Mary moved out, is feeling more and more like home, especially for me since I just made a small prayer altar for myself–which I should have done long ago. I was inspired by a story a Sister was telling me about some little boys who went home from a catechesis class and, without even having been told to, made a prayer altar. Mary was so good about having focal points for purposeful prayer in our room, and it’s taken me a little time to pick up her slack…but better late than never! With some holy water, a rosary, a long-beloved little statue of the Child Jesus, a few beautiful holy cards from Portraits of Saints, my Missal and a few other things, it’s a wonderful place to light and pray. I didn’t realize how much I needed it.
Thoughts on dreams…
Did you know that dreams come true?
I’ve been meaning to post about my Wyoming trip back in August ever since I got home, but life has been busy, and sometimes it’s just hard to put something so amazing into words. I learned so much in the two weeks I traveled by myself to Sheridan, Wyoming, and spent with my sweet cousin and her family; I learned about life and people and myself, about loneliness and confidence and how sometimes, things you’ve built up in your mind all your life are even better than you imagined and not a letdown.
But I think one of the most obvious things I was shown was that dreams do come true–because God cares, even about the little dreams that are important to us but don’t seem that important in the grand scheme of things. I’m not sure how else to process the moment when I found myself on the back of a horse on a ranch in Wyoming, gazing around me at a West that stretched to the edge of the sky–literally living a moment that I’d been longing for inside since I was about three years old (I’m not exaggerating). Or when I found myself standing in Laramie…or bonding with my cousin at a level we’d never had a chance to before…or taking off on my last flight home through a sunset with the lyrics of Switchfoot’s Love Alone is Worth the Fight swimming in my ears, “Let’s go headed down the open road unknown…And we find what we’re made of through the open door. Is it fear you’re afraid of? What are you waiting for? Love alone is worth the fight.”, singing to me the peace I’d found in making a great adventure out of my comfort zone…like hundreds and hundreds of miles out of it…and not regretting one step of it.
It was the trip of a lifetime and a dream come true. It was a gift from God and my family and cousin, who made it possible. It came at the perfect time in my life, when I desperately needed a dream to come true and a shot in the arm of confidence, experience, and love.
I’m back home now, and I feel like that adventure has equipped me in so many ways for the adventure of grown-up life that I am just starting into. But part of me will always be on the back of that horse, and sitting on my cousin’s front porch laughing and talking and sometimes crying with her, and on that plane heading home through a sunset.
Prayerfully…
Please, please say a prayer for my dear grandmother, who is suffering so much right now as she battles cancer. She is so brave and strong, but even from the outside looking in I know this is unlike anything she’s ever gone through. We are praying especially for the intercession of Blessed Solanus Casey, if you’d be so kind as to join us! May God reward you!
A parting thought…
“The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.”
-St. Augustine of Hippo
God bless you!
In our Loving Lady,
Lena
Ut Cum Electis Videamus 