Three exciting updates!!! (And happy feast day St. Joseph!)

Happy Feast of St. Joseph, friends! This is such a beautiful day and has me full of joy 🙂 I hope you are all happy, healthy, and holy!

So I have really neglected this place because a whole lot has been changing in my life. Since December, I have finished another novel, gotten married, moved across the country and…

BECOME A MOM!!!!

So yeah, I am more blessed than I can say, so thankful for all God is doing in my life, and still trying to catch up mentally and emotionally with all the wonderful but crazy-fast changes! I hope to share some wedding photos whenever I get them myself! It was absolutely the most beautiful day…and marriage just gets better every day. Now my sweet husband and I are getting into the rhythm of our life on the farm in beautiful Wyoming (which, thank heavens, is warming up!), and getting our minds and hearts more and more around our long-hoped-for and quickly blessed parenthood!

We are eleven weeks pregnant today, due October 8th! Please pray for us and our sweet baby along this journey! We could not be happier to welcome this sweet precious life into our family!

While I’m here, I also wanted to mention that, if you have been an occasional visitor to my writing blog (Give Me a Story to Tell) and suddenly found it missing, that’s my fault. It’s still there. In a pregnant brain moment, I thought I could change the URL (from lenadonellan.wordpress.com to lenaclarecook.wordpress.com) and it would just redirect people to the right page, instead of telling you it doesn’t exist anymore. I guess I was wrong and sorry for the confusion!

So, if you’d like to get back to my writing blog, just remember that it’s now www.lenaclarecook.wordpress.com!

On the subject of exciting news, I am in the process of editing/proofreading my first draft of Staying Here and hope to have it published sometime this Spring! I am very excited to share this book with you!

I am also working on some updates to my other two novels, Paint Everything Blue and West of Yesterday, including a way to sell all my books not only through my wonderful publisher Lulu.com, but on a broader platform, on Amazon and Barnes & Noble and places like that. 🙂 Hopefully I will figure it all out soon! I think it will be easier to find for you and to share if you desire to!

Again, I hope you are all doing well, and sorry for being so sporadic around here! God bless!

A Young Lady’s Daybook {July morning}

Today…

…is the feast of St. John Gualbert, Knight turned Abbot after the Good Friday when he converted from revenge to forgiveness towards the murderer of his brother.

St. John captured my heart when I first heard his story, but when I first came across the painting above, it sealed the deal. (I have a particular affection for images of Our Lord embracing saints from the Cross, and this is just beautiful, don’t you think?) He was one of the patrons I asked to intercede for me on behalf of West of Yesterday (one of the first, actually)–for reasons you will understand if you ever read the book! Happy Feast, St. John; pray for us to have the spirit of true mercy!

Today also marks just two weeks and a day from my sister’s upcoming wedding. I have to catch my breath after typing that! What an incredibly full time of life this is, full of work and time slipping by and change and joy and crosses and just everything. It truly is the summertime of our family’s life right now, in blazing heat and color, changing from spring into something fuller and, though not easier or quite as simple, brighter. Just as spring is meant to become summer, blossoms meant to bear fruit…childhood is meant to become this. The growing pains aren’t all easy, but they are all worthwhile. As one chapter ends, another starts…

Outside my window…

Another beautiful, blue-green, hot July day in the South. I’m glad it’s not gray like yesterday! Roses are blooming, pears and apples coming in off the trees (which means lots of chopping and freezing going on…I only cut myself once in the course of putting up 28 cups of pears over the past two days…could be worse…) along with the last of the blueberries. We’ve had our share of wind and weather and power outage this year. Last week I helped my dad fell a dead tree on our property line (translation: I picked up small sticks and stood back and watched him cut, to be sure nothing fell on him and crushed him). I really don’t think there’s anything he couldn’t figure out how to do…he brought it down perfectly without crushing our neighbor’s fence. So cool! I love watching Dad work on things. Being out in the heat with him took me back to a little of my old tomboy self, in my horse riding days, and before my younger brother was old enough to replace me as dad’s tag-along. Good memories!

Home around me…

Well, I’ve been spending a lot less time here at my desk since finishing West of Yesterday, and a lot more time fluttering around doing odds and ends of housework and projects downstairs. It’s been nice to be more present on that level of the house. I have to admit, I’ve still been spending a lot of time curled up with my newly-printed book (my ‘other best friend’ as my sister has termed it!), poring lovingly over the pages and proofreading at the same time. I got a couple copies printed through Lulu recently, with the coolest cover ever, designed by Mary, just for me and family…it came out at 424 pages, and is so delightfully thick! Of course I’ve already found typos to fix, but it doesn’t dampen the joy of finally seeing my book as a book!

Our study room downstairs has changed A) since Mom completely reorganized it a couple weeks ago and B) since Mary moved her computer into it so she could be more present while working away at endless wedding work! It’s been great to walk through and see her more often during the day.

Our bedroom will be undergoing a major renovation before too long as well, when Mary has moved out. My younger sis and I are still musing over paint colors and decor, but I’m looking forward to a fun project together that should be something fun to work on during a transition that won’t be so easy! I’ll always cherish having shared the room with my two sisters for as long as we have 🙂

The garage is turning into a wedding-storage-unit with untold boxes of stuff awaiting the big day…and is also home to a new treadmill, courtesy of our dear grandparents, which has been wonderful to have since our old one gave up the ghost. I still enjoy working out while watching Laramie most mornings…whatever keeps you consistent, right? And working out really does make such a difference in my energy level and overall mood, I’ve got to be consistent.

Coffee, exercise, Laramie…just a good way to start the day!

Thoughts on confidence…

I feel like, of all the things I thought I needed to grow in during my younger girlhood, confidence wasn’t something that really appealed to me as a virtue. I thought of it in a hazy way as something akin to pride, and probably snuffed it out in myself at times in a scrupulous way…or imagined it was something that would just come when I was older and needed it. Adventure and challenge scared me, and if I could back away and refuse, I would. Like any young woman, I wanted safety and security. It just took me a while to understand that the only way to real security is through confidence. A while to understand what confidence really means, and that it can go hand-in-hand with humility, while the ‘safety’ I clung to was really a hiding place for pride.

Jason Craig, founder of Fraternus, was the first person I ever heard break down the word ‘confidence’ to its roots–Latin con and fides, or ‘with faith’. If a man walks into a room with confidence, it means he enters it with faith–faith in who he is in God’s eyes. God’s child. That is how he sees himself, others, and the world at large–with the eyes of faith. Therefore, he is confident, neither insecure nor arrogant. He knows what he is and rests in the love of God.

Wow. Isn’t that wonderful? It’s easy to see, in light of that explanation, how confidence is certainly a virtue worth pursuing.

The past year of my life, I’ve been increasingly made aware of how necessary confidence is on both a spiritual level and a practical one…necessary to growing up into a whole and mature person. And I’ve started to see that it isn’t something that just comes–you have to reach out and take it. Earn it. You learn to do by doing, to love by loving…and you gain confidence in yourself (in the truest, Godly sense) by putting into action that faith that you are loved as a child of God. By challenging yourself and being adventurous, because you already have the ultimate security, and so have nothing to lose, other than your ego. That is where humility and confidence flourish together. It’s a natural, healthy growth, but one that isn’t obvious. Or at least, it wasn’t to me at first!

Learning to dance, spending a week completely removed from my family in a part of the country I’d never seen before, learning to drive, slowly transitioning into the place of the oldest sibling at home…all these things and many other small things have helped the process of cultivating my confidence (especially driving!). It’s still far from complete for me. But I’m really starting to understand how necessary it is…how good the challenging moments of life are, because they are the only place we grow.

Prayerfully…

I have to ask for prayers for my dear grandmother, who is undergoing various health challenges and received a diagnosis this past week that wasn’t easy to hear. We are putting our faith in God’s plan and care…please pray for her and our whole family, as we journey with her through this!

The novena to St. Margaret of Antioch, one of the Fourteen Holy Helpers, began yesterday (sorry to have neglected posting it in better time!) Soon I’ll have St. Christopher, St. Pantaleon…St. Alphonsus…not long after, St. Clare…these novenas are like old friends I remember each summer!

May our Lord cover us with His most Precious Blood in this month of July, and every moment of our lives! I am praying that everything leading up to and surrounding the wedding will be flooded with an abundance of peace and tranquility, and protected from any assaults of the evil one against such a pure and beautiful union!

A parting thought…

“There’s a time to be silent – to build up a reason to sing again.”
-Jon Foreman

I know I usually do saint quotes, but you’ve got to love Jon Foreman, too! He is such an inspiration to me when it comes to writing…in so many ways…and this is an encouraging thought to me as I wait to get back in the wonderful world of being really in the thick of writing a book! I do miss the creative process and always find the start of a story the hardest part. Hopefully it will come soon…I do have one promising idea in the works, so we’ll see!

God bless!
In our Loving Lady,
Lena

 

A Young Lady’s Daybook {on the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes}

Today…

Monday, February 11th, 2019, feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. Also Ss. Saturninus and Companions, Martyrs.

This is always a special day in our family because, out of all the many, many Marian feasts throughout the year, we mark this one as Mary’s name day. Why? Well, at some point years ago, my parents chose Our Lady of Lourdes for Mary because it falls close to my birthday, while my name day, the feast of St. Clare, falls close to Mary’s birthday. Also, I was born on one of the alternative feasts of St. Bernadette. Isn’t that a pretty cool connection to have with a dear sister? I think so.

As we won’t all be together tonight, we celebrated in anticipation of today’s feast last night with one of Mary’s favorite meals, a special prayer we pray on our name days, and Mom’s fabulous bread pudding. I love this tradition (similar to how we keep baptism days), and hope to incorporate it into my own domestic church one day, God willing!

Outside my window…

Weather-wise, today is a rather gray, misty, chilly day that looks more like February than did the several warm, brilliant days last week that tricked us and many of the trees around here that it is really May. But the daffodils are coming up just on time, and our house has been surrounded by birdsong since my younger sis put up several birdfeeders (from my grandmother) around the yard; so I believe Spring is still lurking around the corner, in spite of the drab weather!

Home around me…

I spend a great deal of time in this spare bedroom upstairs, adjacent to the bedroom I share with my two sisters; my desk and computer reside here (which means my book resides here!), along with my many notebooks, drawings from some of my favorite kiddos in the world (taped in a proud display above my desk), my Robert Fuller poster (which is really big…it was a surprise for Christmas…I did not get that size myself!), and the remnants of the stuff-to-go-through-from-my-grandmother’s-house-that-won’t-go-anywhere-else. Yeah.

The poster I have!

But, a couple weekends ago my mom threw her energies into knocking out a ton of organizing/decluttering up here. Now I can actually walk to the windows on the far side of the room; there is a nice assortment of pictures she hung up (she didn’t make me take down my poster!), new curtains, and now the remaining clutter is at least sorted into organized piles. It’s much nicer than it was.

We recently rearranged our living room, moving the couches and recliner to face each other and the fireplace (above which hang our images of the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts), instead of the TV. It’s really beautiful and has facilitated better interaction as a family. I look forward to when it gets cold enough to have a fire (the only time we have this winter was when the power was out back in December…which wasn’t quite the idyllic, fun, lets-toast-marshmallows experience).

Thoughts on friendship…

While I know that friendship is one of the arts of life that you continue learning all of your life, I feel that in a particular way, I’ve been discovering what it really means more than ever in the recent months.

Whatever else it may include…humor, shared experiences, like-mindedness, moments of excitement…friendship, in its essence, has to be a Christ-like love in order to survive and flourish no matter what. In other words, it has to be a death to self.

Through my adolescent years, I often wondered why it was that I could be so close to some friends for a period of time, and then completely fall out of touch and each other’s lives. I also noticed when there were some friends…few and far between…who, even if we didn’t see each other for years at a time, seemed just the same when we encountered each other again. It’s taken me a (ridiculously) long time to figure out that they were the friends who really loved me–not just the good times we had or how my affection flattered them–and that that is the kind of friend I should always strive to be. True friendship had to mean something deeper than the flighty, petty, girlish affection that came naturally with some girls and then died off just as easily.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts,
there can be no more hurt, only love.”
-St. Teresa of Calcutta

Growing from a child into an adult teaches you much about the real nature of love; especially through the difficult, unpleasant experiences that we all encounter. You learn, the first time a dear friend passes away, that even the holiest human friendship must still encounter grief. You learn when you lose a great friendship through no fault of your own, if your own love is strong enough to accept hurt and keep loving, no one can make you stop. You learn that if whatever you shared with someone can be ended by them, even inside your own heart, it wasn’t love in the first place. You learn that true love can survive hidden in the catacombs of life, even when there is no way to reach the person you love anymore, except to pray for them.

You learn that prayer is the one thing you can still give the most hindered relationship. You learn that bitterness is more your enemy than anyone else’s, and that forgiveness is the truest proof of love that exists.

You learn that if you look more for what you’re getting from a relationship than what you’re giving, it’s doomed to shallowness. You learn that if you try to rush into closeness or confidence with someone at an unnatural pace, you’ll end up hurting you both. Only generosity, of time and service and a listening ear, and the patience to grow with someone can form a true bond that will withstand the fiercest tests of life; and generosity and patience only come from charity.

Of course you can’t be close to everyone, and you shouldn’t even try with people who might constitute bad company. But we all need a faithful friend, a sturdy shelter; “for it is not good that man be alone”.  I’m coming to see that if I can possess genuine friendship–which is love–readily in my heart, whether alone or surrounded by others, the souls that I am meant to travel beside along part of the road to Heaven will find Christ, the one True Friend, waiting for them in me.

“A soul enkindled with love is a gentle, meek,
humble, and patient soul.”
-St. John of the Cross

From the bakery…

Not too much has been happening in this area lately, although I did make some of my molasses cookies last weekend for a very special police officer (hopefully he enjoyed them), the remainder of which we brought to share with some friends who welcomed us to their home, when we took them up on an open invitation rather last-minute! They are a beautiful, large family who live on a farm about an hour away from us. It’s the prettiest place you can imagine (I would so love to live on a farm!); and talk about baking! The bread, cinnamon rolls, and pies I’ve had (and I know they can make much more) are just about the most amazing thing you’ll ever eat! One of these days I hope to take some lessons from them.

At my desk…

I’m still basking in how organized it is since I cleaned it off (it was in dire need…) last week. I’ve been keeping the keyboard dusted, first by writing a 2,600-word scene that took three tries before, per my sister/editor’s advice…I canned it. It’s so sad at first…but really, I knew deep inside it wasn’t working from the start, and so I should have let it go long before I did. Oh well. Lessons learned.

Since then I’ve been working on another scene, nearly as long and rather complex because it involves a first conversation between two major characters who’ve never spoken and yet are connected/paralleled in many ways…I finished a rough first draft last night and am hoping that, after a little editing, it will turn out a whole lot better than the previous scene!

Also, my dad just helped me update my computer to Windows 10! Yay! (I’d been putting this off for forever, but now it’s so nice!) It’s been a pleasant change of scenery.

Beloved TV shows…

While our family’s been cutting back considerably on TV intake lately, on a couple of occasions we’ve taken trips down memory lane to some of our favorite old fandoms. (Of course Laramie hasn’t ever become an ‘old fandom’ to me; I watch about half an episode every normal weekday while I walk on the treadmill in our basement…whatever keeps you exercising, right? And I count it as story inspiration!)

We watched a small Adam-12 marathon the other night (so fun! I love this show!)…

And also watched a great episode of Emergency! the night after that…

I really love shows that revolve around awesome partnerships…Reed and Malloy, Johnny and Roy, Slim and Jess…

Prayerfully…

Newly refocused on praying and doing penance for an end to abortion and all threats to the lives of precious babies. Praying for different extended family members experiencing health challenges. Praying for the grace to strive after penance, as our Lady of Lourdes asked us to, for there is much to make reparation for and to pray for.

A parting thought…

A year ago at this time, I was emailing back and forth with the Benedictines of Mary, about details for my discernment trip. I was approaching my nineteenth birthday thinking it could be the last I’d celebrate at home with my family. I cut off a lot of my hair, thinking I wouldn’t need it…as girls who want to be nuns do.

Today, I cherish in my heart the desire of being married and raising a family; I’m still so grateful for the huge experience of that discernment trip, still benefitting from the graces and growth given me there, but I don’t desire to go back (except maybe to visit the lovely sisters one day!) And I am so grateful to be at home. I am approaching my twentieth birthday with the joyful expectation of celebrating it with the family God has given me, treasuring it specially because it will be the last with all of us kids together at home, the last before I am the oldest at home.

And my hair is growing longer…just last night, my younger sister was practicing styles worthy of a maid of honor.

What a beautiful, rich, exciting mystery life is. What can change in a year!

“What should you fear, my dearest one,
since you belong to God Who has so strongly assured us
that for those who love Him all things turn into happiness.”
-Fr. Jacques Phillipe

May God bless you!
In our Loving Lady,
Lena

That Sweet “Ave” {my wonderful sister’s new blog!}

It is so amazing having Mary as my older sister. I think that there’s nothing quite so special as being in a family, because while every person in the world is a unique and highly lovable image of God, in our finite state we can’t possibly know and love all seven billion other people here on an intimate level. In our family members, God has entrusted us with the sharing of a very special knowledge and love of particular souls He was delighted to create.

While no one can deny that living in a family has its challenges and griefs as well as joys, I can attest to what an amazing blessing it is to share the close bond I do with the five people in my home.

Mary and I share a best-friendship-sisterhood that is and always will be irreplaceable to me. We compliment and connect on so many levels, even if, to the death, she is Joy and I am Sadness! Everything we share just can’t be put into words. I feel so sorry whenever I hear of sisters who, for one reason or another, have less-than-close relationships; my sisters are two of the closest people in the world to me! For almost a year now all three of us have shared a bedroom; not out of necessity (actually there’s a whole other room next door one or two of us could occupy) but out of love. Our room is one of my favorite places in the world. And it’s going to be very hard when Mary isn’t there anymore!

Mary and I, Autumn 2018

Watching her enter into engagement is surreal. I don’t think I slow down enough to really think about it…though maybe if I thought about it too much, I’d be “too sad to walk”! And yet even though I can’t really fathom home without her, and know it will be a very difficult transition for everyone (especially me!), watching her dreams come true gives me intense joy. Watching her with the Dash (whom I love dearly even though he’s taking her away!) gives me great hope that there is someone just as wonderful for me somewhere. Being a witness of this whole journey has helped me to grow, challenged how I face life on many levels, increased my love for my family, and taught me so much to “keep and treasure in my heart” for when my own hour comes. She is paving the way, and I know that my own journey down it will be the smoother for it. That’s how it’s always been with Mary; though I doubt she thinks of herself much this way, in the little world of us four siblings, she is the first daring explorer embarking on the great expedition; the road-builder braving a wilderness; the first soldier to charge from the trenches into the line of fire. She is, and always will be, the Peter of us Pevensies!

And so, in this time of transition and new discoveries, she has started a new blog (the perfect timing, I think), That Sweet “Ave”, which I wanted to share with you here. I know that, like me, you’ll be blessed through her and her journey!

God bless!
In our Loving Lady,
Lena